The Leo Valdez Show!
by The 379th Hero
Summary: "Maria King as she and her crazy friends, and don't forget Leo Valdez, interview PJO and HOO cast, things could get wacky but all will be epic!" Rated T because of possible character torture. Adopted from Hugs6
1. Season 4 Episode 1

**Hugs6, a friend of mine, has decided to discontinue The Leo Valdez Show, but has given me permission to keep it going.**

 **I don't own the first three seasons, nor do I own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or Heroes of Olympus. Or several of the OCs.**

 **I also don't own Justin Bieber (a good thing for him) or the song animals (because it wouldn't exist if I did) or the Spy Chickens (though I wish I did).**

 **Also, Happy Birthday Percy!**

The theme song ends. The hosts appear in a puff of smoke on beanbags.

MK: welcome to season 4 of- SQUIRREL! Sorry. Welcome to season 4 of The Leo Valdez Show.

T: we've had changes in ownership, but that, thankfully, will not change much.

L: no. For example, someone raided the ice cream stash without me. *glares at Maria*

T: actually, that would be Oswald. He loves ice cream.

MK: see Leo. I'm innocent.

T: *coughs* *whispers* as innocent as the rest of your siblings.

MK: what was that?

T: not important?

MK: *shrugs* whatever. So, for this episode, we'll be interviewing Oswald the penguin. Well actually, we had planned to, but the magic penguin translator hasn't arrived yet.

T: So we will be interviewing Spider-

AC: *screams*

T: -the Hellhound instead, since we actually have a magic Hellhound translator.

L: Then Frank Zhang requested to do a shapeshifting demonstration, so then we came up with a plan: Frank shapeshifts in the background while Thomas interviews Spider and Maria and I go on a date.

MK: Really? It's been so long since you last took me anywhere.

L: It's an ice cream parlor.

MK: *tackles Leo* LEO, I LOVE YOU!

T: Now that we've gotten over Maria's sudden burst of insanity-

L: Hey! I'm her boyfriend! Of course she loves me! It's not insane.

T: OK then. Well, that considered, I guess we should move on.

FZ: *enters* Am I late?

T: nope, Leo and Maria just left, so get on with your shapeshifting.

FZ: *turns into a mouse*

T: Um... well then, say hello to Spider!

CA (Computerized Audience): Hello, Spider!

T: That computerized audience is epic!

S(pider): *enters* WOOF!

T: Oops. *turns on magic hellhound translator*

S: Thank you! I've always wanted an interview!

T: You know they come with dares, right?

S: Yeah, but I've wanted to do YouTube videos of me bashing JB songs since I first heard him.

FZ: *turns into hampster*

T: Our producers decided to change the alternate option to listening to that disgustingly horrible song, "Animals."

S: Oh Styx.

T: That's what I thought, but that does not mean you can't do those videos... though I do wonder what YouTubers might think of them. You are a giant dog, after all.

S: That ain't gonna stop me!

T: OK. Now, Maria wanted you to tell us if you have a girlfriend or not, but honestly, I respect your privacy.

S: Kind of you, but yes, in fact, I do have a wife. We have some puppies. Maria would've been invited, but after the stunt at Percy and Annabeth's wedding... not happening.

T: Go figure. Well now we shall see what Leo and Maria are doing.

S: That was the plan the whole time.

T: Don't tell them ,but I do actually plan for some things to happen in these episodes, but make them seem completely unplanned.

S: I see.

FZ: *turns into a whale*

T: Like that.

* _At Leo and Maria's Date_ *

Leo and Maria enter the ice cream parlor.

MK: You know the plan, right?

L: I do my fire demonstration while you sneak into the freezer?

MK: Yup. Now get to it!

L: *walks up to counter*

ICV (Ice Cream Vendor): Hello, what may I get you?

L: Nothing. I'll be providing some free entertainment! *burst into flame*

ICV: No! Don't! You'll melt the ice cream!

MK: Come on Leo! We're leaving!

L: *still on fire, walks over to Maria* Anything for you, milady. *does mock bow and hand kissing*

MK: *yelling* Leo, you're melting the stolen ice cream.

L: Um, I think that ice cream guy heard you.

ICV: *dials 911*

P(hone): 911, what is your emergency?

ICV: Two kids are stealing ice cream, and one of them's on fire!

P: We'll be there right away.

L: RUN!

Maria and Leo run outside of the coffee shop, then down an alley to avoid the cops. They do some crazy turns before finally losing them.

MK: This was the best date ever! We stole stuff!

L: If that's your idea of a good date, then I guess we could steal more stuff.

MK: And we still have the ice cream!

L: Soooo... would you mind me asking a question?

MK: What?

L: Maria- *looks at cameras* OH MY GODS! THEY'RE FILMING US! *shoots fireball at the cameras*

* _Back at the Studio_ *

T: Gods that was awesome!

S: You know Leo might kill you.

T: I have fire resistance. And pretty much everything else resistance. I coat my skin with this special substance every morning. I also have this potion that allows me to breathe underwater.

S: Why?

T: Why not? I work as a part time firefighter.

S: OH! I see.

T: I also have another potion to protect against smoke inhalation.

L and MK: *enter*

L: I'm going to kill you, Thomas. *shoots fireball*

T: *completely unharmed, even clothes*

L: Wha?

T: I took necessary precautions.

MK: Wha?

T: I'm fire resistant.

MK: Oh.

S: But what about the clothes?

T: I wear fireproof clothes.

FZ: *turns into a duck*

S: That makes sense.

T: Now about the dare.

MK: Yes. Spider, shadow travel to where Nico is and give him a big kiss.

T: We have to get that on film to show in the next episode.

MK: I can try...

L: I'm still mad at you, buddy.

HL (Hazel Levesque): *enters* Hi. I'm looking for my boyfriend. Is he here?

FZ: Quack! *turns into a chicken*

HL: I'll take that as a yes.

T: *screams* It's a spy chicken!

MK: Ookay. Well, that about wraps up today's episode. See you next time! Now Leo, what was that question you wanted to ask me?

L: After the cameras stop.

MK: Okay then.

T: Roll credits!

MK: Was that necessary?

T: No. But fun.

Credits Start

Starring:

Thomas (AKA The 379th Hero)

Maria King

Leo Valdez

Spider

Guest Starring:

Frank Zhang

Hazel Levesque (I soooo want to say Zhang just to annoy her)

Special Thanks to:

Hugs6

Rick Riordan

And PaulSoaresJr. (For the Spy Chickens)


	2. Season 4 Episode 2

**Episode Two!**

Theme song ends. Thomas appears strangling Leo.

LV: The episodes started! Stop!

T: Apologize!

MK: *yawns* What's- Holy Hermes!

Leo: Maria, he figured it out! He figured it all out!

T: She was in on it as well?!

LV: Ummm...

MK: Leo you dolt!

LV: What happened to the 'I love you' from the last episode?

MK: Really Leo? Really? You bring that up when-

T: Hey! The cameras are rolling!

MK: Oh.

T: Welcome to The Leo Valdez show!

LV: I was supposed to say that!

T: Shut up!

LV: NEVER! *tackles Thomas*

MK: Ookay... I guess I'm in charge now. So, the magic penguin translator has arrived. Unfortunately, Oswald migrated south for the Winter.

LV: BACKSTAGE'S ON FIRE!

MK: My closet of stolen stuff! We'll be right back!

Commercial break.

Tomorrow is October 6th!

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard comes out tomorrow!

Commercials over.

MK: Well that's over.

LV and T: *tied to chairs with gags*

MK: I think I like this.

LV: MMPH!

MK: Sorry. So I guess I'm interviewing... myself? Oh hang on. That was an older episode... *fumbles and drops papers* OH NO! NOW THE AUDIENCE KNOWS THAT WE ACTUALLY PLAN THINGS!

T: *rolls eyes* Oph ophephy fol phem.

MK: Say wha?!

T: Nephe mine.

MK: OK... Anyway, it says here that we're interviewing an armadillo.

A(rmadilo): -

MK: never mind. We don't have a magic armadillo translator.

T: *somehow removes gag* I figured out what Leo was asking Maria! He was asking her to help him in a prank competition against the Stolls!

MK: QUIET! I'M IN CHARGE NOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

H(ermes): Maria, I have a quest for you!

MK: What?

H: Assassinate JB...

MK: Woah, wait, seriously?

H: JUST KIDDING! *disappears*

MK: Well now I'm not in a good mood... Well, I guess we'll have to interview Nico!

N: Hello everyone!

MK: How are you Nico?

N: I'd be WAY better if you hadn't sent your hellhound to kiss me!

MK: It was a dare. We wanted to get it on tape, but... ah well.

N: *filtered by profanity filter security guard*

PFSG: Nico di Angelo, that is your second offence. You are now banned from the show.

N: Eh.

MK: Don't forget your dare! Sing Let it Go in front of Chiron when he's touring ne campers!

N: OH COME ON!

MK: I guess I should release you... * unties Leo and Thomas*

T: What was that for?!

MK: FUN!

T: UGH! ...Roll credits...

Credits:

Starring:

Leo Valdez

Maria King

Thomas

Guest Starring:

Nico di Angelo

The P.F.S.G.

An Armadillo

Special Thanks too:

Hugs6

Rick Riordan


	3. Season 4 Episode 3

**So this is the second to last thing I'll be posting before Christmas break. I know that it sucks, but I have to go on hiatus for a bit. At least until Christmas break, and on Christmas I will update all five of my active stories. I promise. But for now, there's this and then HGatBWL in one week then nothing until Christmas. I'll still be able to respond to PMs, reviews, and also read other stories. So I hope you enjoy this. If you do, leave a review.**

 **Also, if you check on my profile, I do show when I next plan to update my stories. And also planned stories to be published.**

Theme song ends.

A blue box appears on stage. The hosts walk out.

T: I GOT A TARDIS!

MK: And then you insisted on using it for the entrance.

T: Well duh. It's a time machine that's bigger on the inside!

L: Impressive engineering. How did someone do this?

T: How should I know? Um, can I break the fourth wall long enough to point out that we're fictional?

L: No.

T: Ok.

MK: Boys...

L and T: HEY!

MK: What? Now are we doing an episode or not?

R(alph the minion): I hope so.

MK: No one asked you!

T: Well, we could drop a shark off the Empire State Building...

L: GREAT! I'll go get Percy!

MK: You stay here!

T: I was joking! How about we leave a hungry bear in Justin Bieber's house?

MK: I already did.

T: And?

MK: It got roasted by the security systems. I might've been able to get passed them... but bears really can't.

T: That's... gotta smell bad.

MK: It did.

L: Enough about bears. Maria, did you here about that kid who ate 4 entire 5 gallon buckets of ice cream?

MK: That was me.

L: And you didn't invite me?!

MK: You would've taken away from my ability to beat the ice cream eating record. Here, have my spoon. *hands Leo a half-melted spoon*

L: Why is it melted?

MK: Blame your sister.

L: Oh... Amy.

T: Who's Amy?

L: The only other fire user at camp.

T: Is she hot?

L and MK: THOMAS!

T: I was just kidding, yeesh!

MK: And you accidently made a good pun.

T: Oh... hot, fire-user. I get it!

MK: Anyway, we are interviewing... Amy the fire-user, daughter of Hephaestus?

L: What a coincidence!

A(my): *walks in* Hello. And Thomas, does this answer your question?

T: Um... yes?

L: I think he thinks the answer is yes.

T: SHUT UP!

L: HEHEHE!

A: anyway, you were going to interview me?

L: Yes. What's it like being the younger sister of the greatest hero to ever live?

A: I wouldn't know. I'm not Percy's sister, and even if I was, I'm older than him.

T: BURN!

MK: You are full of puns today.

T: What? OH! I get it.

MK: First real question: are you single...? THOMAS!

T: NOT MY FAULT! We have weird producers!

MK: You're the producer!

T: Oh...um...

A: I actually am. But that's not important. Next question.

T: I have one! Do you like a guy named Rory?!

A: What?

MK: He's obsessed with Doctor Who right now. Even managed to get a TARDIS for the show. Not sure how though...

A: No... I don't, to answer that question.

T: Ok... have you met someone with a bowtie and a fez who has a blue box?

A: Also, no.

T: Have you-

MK: ENOUGH WITH THE DOCTOR WHO RELATED QUESTIONS!

T: FINE!

L: Anyway, what's it like being the older sister of one of the seven?

A: It's ok... nothing really.

L: DANG IT!

A: Anyway, I'm out. BYE!

T: BYE!

MK: Are we out of time? I know they want us to stop so they can get the stupid hockey game in.

T: I like HOCKEY!

L: ROLL CREDITS!

MK: LEO YOU IMBECILE! THE EPISODE ISN'T OVER YET!

L: Oh...

T: We still have 3 more minutes.

L: To do what!

T: The producers want us to parachute off of Mt. Everest.

MK: AKA, you want us to.

T: But _I_ changed my mind. A crash test dummy with Justin Bieber's face will do that instead. Except without the parachute. And from a plane higher than that height.

L: Do you know how long that will take?

T: Eh. We can miss the national anthems.

L: That's disrespectful!

T: So? JB is too!

MK: QUIET!

L: BUT WHY!

T: Because the dummy's fall is about to go live.

*a TV screen lowers from the ceiling

a plane appears on screen. Something, presumably the dummy, is thrown out

after 10 minutes of falling, the dummy hits the ground, and parts go flying

the camera zooms in on the shredded picture on the front*

MK: I wish that was actually Justin Bieber. Unfortunately he's busy trying to explain the bear in his living room.

L: I so want to see that!

T: I could get a friend to hack into his security cameras...

MK: DO IT!

T: I'll call him after the credits.

MK: Now for your line...

T: ROLL CREDITS!

 **Starring:**

 **Thomas**

 **Maria King**

 **Leo Valdez**

 **Guest Starring:**

 **Amy the Fire User**

 **Ralph the Minion**

 **The bear (R.I.P.)**

 **A crash test dummy with Justin Bieber's face**

 **Special Thanks to:**

 **Rick Riordan**

 **Hugs6**

 **BBC (Where do you think we got a TARDIS?)**

 **And Hephaestus, otherwise Leo would not exist, and, in extension, this show (and without him Amy would not exist either, so we couldn't interview her without him)**


	4. Season 4 Episode 4

**I'm BACK!**

 **So, I disappear off the face of the earth... no, I didn't... oh shut up Leo!**

 **Anyway, so, this is number 1 of... I'll count when I'm done...**

 **This means I'll update everything.**

 **So, yeah.**

 **Anyway, I don't own certain things, blah blah blah, etc...**

Leo rises through the floor holding a bag of rice.

LV: welcome to...

Maria and Thomas parachute from above.

All: THE LEO VALDEZ SHOW!

MK: y'know, that really didn't feel right.

LV: It didn't?

T: You're right. Restart!

All hosts rush off stage.

T: I THINK WE FORGOT THE THEME SONG!

MK: WE'VE BEEN FOGETTING IT ALL SEASON!

T: RIGHT, HERE WE GO!

Theme:

All Star by Smash Mouth (Hugs, I noticed I forgot it)

Theme ends, Leo runs on stage with a spoon and 6 5 gallon buckets of ice cream.

LV: I'M GOIN' FOR A WORLD RECORD! *runs off the stage*

*loud crash*

MK: What just happened?

T: ask Leo...

MK: LEO! WHAT HAPPENED?

LV: I hit a water buffalo...?!

T: We have water buffaloes?

MK: I think it's for the other show that they do here.

T: Which one?

MK: Family Feud.

T: I don't think they use water buffaloes.

MK: Oh, ok. Then, what the heck is it for?

LV: NOW THE BUFFALO'S FRANK!

T and MK: OH!

MK: That makes perfect sense!

A(my the fire user): Leo, what are you doing with six buckets of ice cream?

LV: Breaking a world record.

A: Little brother, you have a show to host. World records can wait.

LV: BUH WHY?!

A: SHUT UP!

LV: MEANIE!

T: I don't know, she seems very smart.

LV: Hey!

MK: I agree. Amy, I think we might end up as great friends.

T and LV: so who are we interviewing?

MK: Well, someone was signed up, but they never showed... maybe they're lost...?

T: did you give them our address?

MK: ...no...

T: *facepalm*

A: well, now you have to interview me again.

LV: AND THIS TIME WE'LL REMEMBER THE DARE!

T, MK, and A: GET ON THE STAGE LEO!

LV: *walks on stage*

T: sit.

LV: FINE!

MK: and shut up!

LV: BUH WHY?!

MK and A: JUST SHUT UP, LEO!

T: now that that's over, we'll interview Amy.

A: are you going to ask me more Doctor Who questions?

T: Is your last name Pond?

A: no.

T: What is it then?

A: I actually don't know. It's a long story.

T: Tell.

A: Fine. My mom died.

T: is that it?

A: I was 2.

MK: That's so sa- ICE CREAM!

LV: WHERE?!

T, MK, and A: SHUT UP, LEO!

LV: hmph

T: Alright, this one from Maria: Do you have anything I could steal from you?

A: Not unless you want to steal my clothes.

MK: not my style. Except for your jacket.

A: ARE YOU KIDDING! I'D FREEZE TO DEATH!

MK: Good point. RALPH! GET THE JACKET DUPLICATOR!

R(alph the minion): yes your majesty.

T: I'm not going to ask.

H6: Hi, just checking u-where's our next interviewee?

A: apparently couldn't make it.

H6: Oh... bye!

T: Right! Amy, how old are you?

A: 17. 18 in December.

MK: Are you missing any toes?

A: ...no?...

T: This one from Leo: *opens envelope* Get ou-LEO!

LV: What? I don't like her!

Everyone else in the universe minus the Doctor and Rose Tyler, who are currently not in this time: SHUT UP, LEO!

T: Ow! That hurt my ears.

MK: Amy, have you ever been outside of camp minus before you got there?

A: I actually wasn't at camp for the Battle of Manhattan, so no.

T: Have you done the Macarena?

A: No...?

MK: Dare time! I dare you to run around camp screaming that the sky is falling.

A: Is there an alternative?

MK: JB?

A: Do I get a megaphone? I've always wanted a megaphone.

LV: *pulls one out of his tool belt*

A: thanks.

T: ROLL-

A: Wait! I have a question for Hugs6! Can I be a host?

H6: No.

A: Why?

H6: Because you have a quest to do in the near future.

A: I what?

H6: Come back when you're done.

A: You're crazy!

H6: No, I'm perfectly sane.

T: ROLL CREDITS!

 **Starring:**

 **Leo Valdez**

 **Maria King**

 **The 379th Hero**

 **Guest-Starring:**

 **Amy the fire-user**

 **Ralph the minion.**

 **Hugs6**

 **Special thanks to:**

 **Hugs6**

 **Rick Riordan**

 **The Daleks for Volunteering to exterminate JB**


	5. Season 4 Episode 5

**I gotta stop disappearing... eh...**

 **BTW, I got myself a YouTube channel, The 379th Hero, and I would love it if you checked it out.**

 **Anyway:**

 ***insert typical disclaimer***

Theme Song, All Star by Smash Mouth, plays.

T: I GOT SKILLZ!

MK: wut?

LV: He was just playing pinball while drinking Pepsi... Pepsi apparently makes him hyper, and he scored perfect on the machine.

T: IT WUZ FUN!

MK: Can he sit this one out?

LV: He's the producer now, remember?

MK: Oh, right. Anyway, is Spider the Hellhound here?

LV: I think so. Anyway, we found some elephant babies under the stage.

MK: What did we do with them?

LV: *blank stare* You were there...

MK: I was?

LV: Yes...

MK: Oh.

LV: We donated them to the zoo...

MK: I like the zoo...

T: I DON'T!

MK: Wait, where'd he go.

Thomas walks on stage with some apples, pens, and pineapples.

T: Hey, did either of you see that viral video with the pens and apples and pineapples?

MK: Oh gods no!

LV: This could get interesting...

T: I have a pen. A have an apple. *grunt* Apple-pen. I have a pen. I have pineapple. *grunt* Pineapple-pen.

MK: I'm leaving now.

LV: Wait.

MK: Fine.

T: Apple-pen. Pineapple-pen. *grunt* Pen-pineapple-apple-pen.

MK: Bye. Leave now. That was stupid, and everyone just turned off their TVs!

T: People still use TVs...?

MK: Fine. Their Netflix or YouTube or whatever!

LV: You watch Matthias?

T: YES!

MK: Nope.

LV: Team Edge?

MK: No.

T: I never knew you liked their vids, Leo...

LV: Maria, you will sit in the back room until you have seen at least ten videos from each!

MK: I will not!

LV: Activate manhandling machine!

T: That's a thing?

LV: Yes.

The manhandling machine puts Maria in the back room.

LV: Now that's settled-

Maria falls from the rafters onto Leo, screaming, "Didn't you know I could teleport?!"

T: *loud laugh* This here is comedy gold! I never could have thought this up for the script! This is why I shifted to improv!

MK: Ralph! Go get the interviewee from back stage NOW!

R: Yes milady.

T: In other news, Amy did actually end up on a quest.

LV: *grunts as Maria punches him in the stomach*

PDP (Pewdiepie): Alright, alright! I'm here!

T: We're interviewing Pewdiepie?

LV: No, that's a robot.

T: We have a robot Pewdiepie... do I want to know?

LV: No.

A Creeper: *sizzles* *explodes in Robot Pewdiepie's face*

LV: Now we don't have a robot Pewdiepie.

T: That was random, and the interviewee isn't here yet!

I(nterviewee): Yeah I am!

T: Who are you?

I: A person.

T: What is your name?

I: That's for me to know and you to find out.

T: Okay, that's for me to- do you have a short form for that? It's rather long.

MK, LV, and I: *facepalm*

T: What?

MK: It means he doesn't want to tell you his name.

I: I'm a girl...

MK: ...

LV: Awkward...

T: MORE PEPSI!

I: Want me to prove it?

LV: No, that's okay!

I: That's what I thought.

T: Are you a guy now?

I: Ye- HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

T: Because you're Alex Fierro from Hotel Valhalla!

AF: *pulls out garrotte*

T: BYE! *runs off stage*

MK: DARE TIME!

AF: No! *shows her garrotte*

LV: No dare then...

AF: I like this guy.

LV: Yay!

AF: Now I have to get back to Valhalla. It's Thursday, and I can't wait to see Magnus get killed by another dragon!

LV: I'd rather the Underworld...

T: *from somewhere near the props storage* ROLL CREDITS!

*screen goes black*

LV: OH COME ON!

 **Credits:**

 **Starring:**

 **Leo Valdez**

 **Maria King**

 **The 379th Hero**

 **Guest Starring:**

 **Ralph the Minion**

 **Robot Pewdiepie**

 **A random Creeper**

 **Alex Fierro**

 **Special Thanks to:**

 **Hugs6**

 **Rick Riordan**

 **Pepsi**


End file.
